My eyes are glazed over and my mind has gone numb.  The annual trip to my accountant is the one area of my life that I have absolutely no control over and I find very confusing.

When I told my wife I’d booked our appointment with the accountant, she was furious.

“Couldn’t you have left it until later in the year, perhaps after Christmas?” she pleaded.

“No!” I reasoned, “It has to be now, the forms have to go to the taxman before the end of the year.”

“But I hate going to the accountants,” She said, “I would rather spend a day at the dentist.”

“But you hate going to the Dentist,” I reminded her.

“Well at the Dentist,” She said, “You only have a few minutes of discomfort and at least you have some idea of what is going on.

After a trip to the accountants, I always return totally confused, puzzled, bewildered, perplexed, bemused, baffled and befuddled.”
“Despite his cheery persona and words of encouragement, I feel dejected because I haven’t understood a word he said.”

Like a trip to the dentist, the initial apprehension of visiting the accountant is totally misplaced.

True to form, the visit was not exactly a relaxed picnic, more like a trip up the tower of Babel.

What language is it they speak? And why does the sound of it create instant drowsiness?

It was nearly a week ago now and I’m still having trouble focusing because my eyes are still glazed over and I am so sleepy, like I am in some kind of hypnotic trance!

Having been in business for myself fo more than 25 years, I have a preaty good understanding of how to manage my day to day affairs. However, a trip to the accountant is the one area of my life that I have absolutely no understanding of.

When I travel to a foreign country where I don’t speak the lingo, I can usually understand something of what is going on.
And you can recognise the cheeky smile from the local lads as they fleece you of your tourist dollar.

That smile that says I’m taking your money because that is what I do.  You are a rich foreigner,
I am poor local and you are making a contribution to our economy.
It is a win-win situation, all part of life’s rich pattern.
And we all have a great laugh.
When I travel to my accountants, I don’t speak the lingo and I can’t understand anything of what is going on.
And I recognise the cheeky smile.

That smile that says I’m taking your money because that is what I do.  You are a poor businessman,
I am rich accountant and you are making a contribution to my economy.
It is my win situation, all part of life’s rich pattern.
And we all have a great laugh.

The figures and tables he produces have no connection that I can make to any part of my business.
I suppose though, if the taxman understands it all then I have nothing to worry about and it has all been worthwhile.

Just to show how mind numbing I find the whole accountancy business; when I delivered my books to him back in the summer, I left a pair of my trousers in the box of papers!

You see; It was a bright sunny summer’s day (yes we did get one; I think it was on a Wednesday?)
and I was wearing short trousers to enjoy the weather.  As it was supposedly a work day,
I might have to make a business visit and therefore took long trousers with me to change into; just in case?

So when my accountant handed me back my books, my trousers were there in the box.
Yes, they were mine and what’s more, there was a £20 note in the pocket?

I wonder if I should have asked him for interest on the £20.00
Or was the note the interest on the trousers?

Something else I will never know!

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